Welcome Back...

I think about writing on here a lot, I write sometimes, I post nothing.

It’s been a crazy couple of years, folks.

I looked back on our posts from three years ago and I am in awe of how beautiful our life is and I feel the excitement and anticipation we felt when we moved here. I also remember the foreboding feeling I felt too.

Today I got this picture, Jesus was standing with me holding my hand back then, crying, seeing the pain I felt and the feelings I didn’t understand at the time, but instead of crying because of mourning, he was crying out of sadness, looking ahead at the beautiful things to come to heal these painful memories in my body and mind.

I have to admit to you, these last three years have not been what I thought they would be.

My life in many ways has not turned out the way I thought it would. There are things I thought I would have done by now, there are outcomes and expectations I had thought I would be living in right now. And in some ways I am, it just doesn’t look like what I thought and for that reason I have wrestled with shame about having something to say on here because if I am being really honest, I didn’t think I had something to say, or have been living in a place I want to share from. I want so badly to be put together for you, to say I have walked this path and I come bearing gifts of answers and encouragement.

I wish I had a badge of honor I could speak to you from. But instead, I have wounds and battle scars, I have a porch and a laptop.

I have a story and a voice and though I know I have mentioned already that things have not gone as planned, I still hear God’s still small voice, He still speaks to me, walks with me, has been so patient with me and is healing me deeply. I am here because He keeps telling me to write, and I feel this deep knowing I have something to say, I do not know if it is for anyone other than myself and possibly the ones I love and my daughter and her children.

I want to pen this - all these words are from my heart to yours, my life to yours, my pain, my wholeness, my incompleteness, my true self, my journey, my soul to yours. 

I do not have all the answers, I simply know I have a voice, and I am to use it, so I promise to speak from my heart, from my deep to yours, to share with you my journey and my process, and some things in between. This is not a self help blog, or a blog with any agenda really, it is just the things from my heart, my true self I want to put out there for the world to see. IF for no one else, for me… my daughter Glory and my future self… did I say that already? Yes. Okay, good. Glory, I want nothing more than to show you who I am. That you would know me and that you may find your mother as beautiful inside and out, through and through - and that this is who I am and who God has made me to be and the story of who I am becoming. For you Glory, our freedom girl.

Okay, let’s get started.